


Just Dying to Say I Love You

by espioc



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Except its not, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, M/M, Reflecting on life, Some Fluff, one day to live
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:27:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28566183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/espioc/pseuds/espioc
Summary: Starscream is told that he has one day to live, and as a result decides to confess his love to Wheeljack.
Relationships: Starscream/Wheeljack (Transformers)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 65





	Just Dying to Say I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> gift for my secret solanoid! Hope they enjoy :)

Starscream could hardly believe what he was hearing. He had gone in for a regular check up at Wheeljack’s insistence, and now Flatline was delivering some life shattering news. As if Starscream’s week couldn’t have gotten any worse. First there was a complication with Metroplex, then Elita was trying to move into territory she had no right trying to take, then there was an enormous riot against CC bots that was getting more interplanet buzz among the colonies than Starscream wanted it to get.

Sitting on that cold berth slab in the equally uninviting office found all of those things rendered insignificant.

“It’s an abnormality,” Flatline repeated. “You were born with it, there is nothing that can be done.”

Starscream crossed his arms. “I still don’t get what you mean by abnormality.”

“Your spark does not operate at the standard output. Eventually, very soon eventually, it will give out on you.”

“Very soon meaning…?”

“Meaning we are not entirely sure. Tests were inconclusive.”

“So you don’t know how it will affect my life, not really.”

“No, I know it will kill you,” Flatline examined his datapad. “Sooner rather than later, by my calculations.”

Starscream huffed, tired of the runaround. “How long do your calculations say I have?” He said, raising his voice as if Flatline had suddenly gone deaf.

“About a day.”

Starscream’s wings flared. He snatched the datapad out of FLatline’s hand. “Let me see that you buffoon.” He scanned over the data and quickly re-ran the numbers in his head. Considering his current spark output, how much power it took him to move around and live like a normal bot, plus his stress level, equated to a sufficient amount of energy for a day or so, even if he was pumped full of energon and hooked up to a battery his spark’s output would give him a day or less of life before snuffing out.

The datapad slipped from Starscream’s frozen hand. He got off the berth, eyes wide, wings flared, and walked out of the doctors office without a second thought or another word.

He drifted up towards his office, ignoring everyone he passed, the odd hellos and off putting glances. All of the whispers that would usually grate at his plating suddenly felt numb among the already subtle feeling of his spark steadily losing energy.

Starscream sat down at his desk, still hardly aware of the world around him. For so long he had fought, for so long he had toiled through tyranny and war, oppression and abuse, just to end up dying at a relatively young age of some minor spark abnormality. Something that had followed him for so long already and was rearing its head just as things were starting to fall in line for Starscream. Just as everything was starting to go right, the road ahead may not have been clear, but at least there was one.

Starscream’s fingers clenched atop the desk, his claws digging into the metal.

He took in a long vent and sprung to his feet. The last thing he was going to do was take death sitting down. He hadn’t taken anything sitting down, certainly not death. When the time came Starscream was ready to stare Primus in the face and give him a perfectly appropriate inappropriate gesture, but until then he was going to make the most of the day he had left.

Starscream fixed his features and walked around the desk. His wings lowered into a neutral position, his spark suddenly very present in his chest. He unconsciously placed his hand over his chest and tried to calm down, tried not to feel the fleeting beat.

What to do first?

Starscream felt as if he was constantly thinking about what he would do should he end up in a situation like this, yet now that he was here he couldn’t think of anything to do.

Only one thing sprang to mind and the mere thought of doing such a thing immediately brought heat to his face. He wondered if potential embarrassment was worth getting a large secret off his chest. Or if potential embarrassment was worth it paying off and potentially getting exactly what he wanted before death.

Starscream was normally tight lipped, and part of him almost felt proud of the prospect of taking secrets to his grave. Things people could think about, wonder about, long after he’s gone. Did he care? Did he not? Did he commit that murder?

No one would ever know.

Starscream sauntered out of his office, suddenly feeling like drinking his head off at Maccadam’s or some other bar that he wasn’t banned from. He could tell Blurr that he was dying and potentially get a seat. Either that, or Blurr would shoot him on the spot to put him out of his misery. That speedster could be surprisingly malicious.

Instead of fretting over what he would do, Starscream decided he would just let whatever was about to happen, happen. If he happened to wander down to the labs, and he happened to run into Wheeljack, and he happened to get caught up in some sciency conversation with the surprisingly talkative Autobot, then that’s just what would happen.

Starscream was halfway down the spire when he emerged from his fantasy. Just as soon as he did, the elevator doors split open and Wheeljack stepped inside.

“Oh, hey Screamer,” he said, smiling under his mask.

Starscream suddenly felt flush, he fixed his expression, but his voice cracked when he spoke. “Wheel--” he cleared his throat and tried again. “Wheeljack, fancy seeing you here,” he tried for a smile, but found it difficult.

“Goin’ down?” Wheeljack asked, though Starscream was sure he already knew. Wheejack was playful like that, it was cute and endlessly funny, though Starscream almost never laughed at any of Wheeljack’s jokes.

Starscream suddenly felt his spark sink.

He really wished he had laughed at more of Wheeljack’s jokes.

“Wheeljack,” Starscream spit out the word before he could even think. “I wonder, are you doing anything today?”

Wheeljack’s finials blinked. “Well--” he shrugged. “Just workin’ in the lab like I do everyday.”

“Can I join you?” Starscream felt his throat get tight.

Wheeljack moved a bit closer. “Sure,” he smiled. “Gotta warn ya, I might talk yer ear off.”

“I know,” Starscream said fondly, smiling back where he might usually resist.

They stepped off the elevator together and wandered to Wheeljack’s lab. Wheeljack was already talking, saying something about his latest project and his personal work compared to his work work. Starscream knew that Wheeljack used the lab for personal projects, and Starscream had made it clear ages ago that he didn’t care so long as Wheeljack got all of the work done that he had been hired to do.

Yet, despite this, Wheeljack always asked. “Hope it’s okay I’m usin’ the lab for personal work,'' whenever it was brought up.

Starscream flapped his hand. “Oh, Wheeljack, you know I don’t care what you use that lab for.”

“Always wanna double check, just in case you suddenly change your mind.”

Starscream’s smile dropped. “I don’t see that in the foreseeable future,” he grumbled.

“Also, I sometimes forget,” Wheeljack admitted, typing in his lab code. “I’ve blown myself up so many times I don’t know what I got in here. All the science stays, though, that don’t go away for nothin’.”

Starscream nodded along as they stepped into the lab. Wheeljack deposited a file on the workbench closest to the door and wandered to his mussed bench in the back.

“Sorry about the mess,” Wheeljack said, dodging a larger project as he navigated the crowded laboratory. Wheeljack was the only one who used this lab, but he made it look like ten people did.

“I don’t mind a mess,” Starscream said, studying the projects as he passed them. “Especially yours.”

Wheeljack sat down on his stool and spun around so they were nearly at eye level. “Did you just come down here to chat, or did ya have something else to do?”

“I came to see you,” Starscream admitted, more smoothly than he anticipated. His voice did not even shake when he said it, all hesitation gone.

Wheeljack straightened. “Oh,” his finials flashed pink.

Starscream wasn’t sure what to make of that reaction. He took a deep vent and swallowed the lump in his throat. A small portion, the very bold portion of him assumed this would be easy. He was at death’s door, only a day to live, Wheeljack was a good mech, even if he hated Starscream he might be merciful enough not to deny a dying mech his last wishes.

Starscream’s last wishes being spending every moment he had left with Wheeljack, to make up for all of the moments he should have spent, but didn’t.

“Well, you can spend time with me anytime,” Wheeljack said, retracting his mask to show off his smile. He quickly put it back into place and laughed awkwardly.

“Wheeljack.” Starscream said quickly, his wings fluttering behind him. “I-- there’s something I should tell you--” the words caught in his throat. The prospect of death steadily catching up to him.

During the war death was easy. It could come at any moment, and Starscream found a strange comfort in that.

Now he knew when it was coming, and that was terrifying.

“Screamer, you okay?” Wheeljack leaned over to get a better look at his face. “You look--” he paused. “Upset.”

Starscream took a quick vent and quickly returned to reality. “I have to tell you something,” he rattled off quickly. “And I just need you to listen to me.”

Wheeljack nodded, immediately coming to attention. “Okay, what is it?”

“Do you remember when you told me to go to the doctor?”

Wheeljack nodded. “Yeah, I remember, we had that whole conversation with the--”

“Well I went,” Starscream said quickly. “I went, and I got a test and--” his fists clenched at his sides. “It looks as though my spark is giving out due to an abnormality.”

Wheeljack did not say anything. Starscream counted to thirty before trying to speak again.

“He thinks I only have a day or so before it gives out.”

All of the light from Wheeljack’s finials, even his eyes, seemed to drain. His hands flexed on his knees, he stared at a spot on the floor. “You--”

“And I feel the need to tell you--”

“I love you.”

Starscream felt as though his spark stopped. For a split second he thought that the time had come, but he realized it was just shock.

Starscream blinked. “You-- you what?”

“I love you. A lot, like a lot a lot, and I wanted to tell you for ages, but I never knew how to say it-” Wheeljack climbed off to stool. “But now there’s this so I don’t know if I’ll get my chance, but I still wanted my chance.”

Starscream’s wing twitched, his eyes stuck wide. “I--” he was speechless. After a few seconds his face contorted into frustration. His wings flared. “Oh, come on!” He said. “That was supposed to be my confession, I’m the one dying.”

Wheeljack’s finials lit back up. “Oh, yeah, right, right, ah dang it,” he frowned. “Silly me, I shoulda let you say it.”

“It was my big moment.”

“Right, right, yeah, I know--”

“You ruined it.”

“I know.”

“But that’s okay, because I still love you, and I don’t have any time left to stop loving you.”

“Thank God.”

After the confession from the both of them, Wheeljack seemed determined to make Starscream’s last day the best it could be. Of course, simply be existing, Wheeljack could achieve this, but he chose to go all out. He took Starscream for a drink, showed him all of the crazy stuff in the lab, commited a minor crime with him, and at the end of the day they sat atop the spire and watched the sunset.

Starscream flew them to the top.

Wheeljack hated heights, but it didn’t matter then.

“So,” Wheeljack said. “What happens now?”

Starscream shrugged. “Not sure. Flatline said the spark would just stop--” he snapped his fingers. “Just like that. I won’t feel a thing.”

“Ya know, if you fall off this building, I can’t catch you.”

“Part of me hopes I land on someone I hate.”

“So anyone?”

“Anyone besides you,” Starscream slipped his hand into Wheeljack’s. “But I’ll know you’re safe up here.”

Wheeljack chuckled. “Yeah safe, and stuck.”

Starscream smiled. “I can take us down if you want.”

“No,” Wheeljack’s answer was quick and concise. “I wanna be wherever you wannabe.”

“I just want to be wherever you are.”

They turned their attention to the setting sun. Starscream wasn’t sure what to expect or when. They were on top of that building for over an hour, staring at the stars, quiet conversation between them. They thought about what could have been if one of them had spoken up sooner. They talked about the war, what it meant, what it did, how, despite the fact that it was over, it had gotten in the way of them being together.

Three hours in, Starscream felt as though he was ready.

But three hours in, Starscream did not die. His spark did not give out.

Starscream carried them down off the building.

“Now what?” Wheeljack asked as soon as they touched the ground.

Starscream shrugged. “Want to spend the night?”

Wheeljack took his hand. “I’d like that.”

They drifted back up to Starscream’s suite in the spire. The hab was nearly abandoned, with hardly even a stray datapad tossed about. Starscream’s bed was the only real evidence that someone lived there.

They didn’t bother to turn on any lights.

They navigated together in the dark and soon found the soft berth where they laid down together in a single embrace.

“I might not wake up tomorrow,” Starscream muttered, his claws curling against Wheeljack’s cheek.

“I know,” Wheeljack muttered back.

* * *

Starscream woke up in the morning to a buzz on the bedside table. When he first woke up, the world was dark, and he assumed he had passed on. But he soon found at all he needed to do was activate his optics.

Starscream took a deep vent and blindly reached for the communicator on the bedside table. There was a message from Flatline.

Your results were a mistake. Your spark has plenty of life left.

There was a shift on the berth, a hand pressed flat on his wing.

Starscream rolled over, completely alive.

“False alarm,” he muttered, shifting so his head hovered above Wheeljack’s. “I’ve got plenty of life left.”

Wheeljack retracted his mask and smiled. “Good.” He leaned up and accepted a brief kiss. “Plenty of time for you to decide you’re not in love with me.”

Starscream put his hand on his cheek and gave him a gentle kiss. “We’ll just see about that.”

Wheeljack wrapped his arms around Starscream and rolled them over. They settled back in and fell asleep content in each other's arms.


End file.
